Sunday, May 12, 2013

The Gift Of Love in the Family

Our article this week is dedicated to the four most important and supportive people in my life. My beloved wife Patti Lougee, and my in-laws, George & Pat Fancher and Teri Fancher (my sister-in-law). My biological family, 3 brothers and 1 sister, have issues of their own from there own abusive past, so communicating with them about my PTSD and CONVERSION DISORDER is hard because they are wrapped up in their world of pain. With the loving care from my in-laws and from their encouragement to continue fighting and moving on, I have been able to find the strength inside of me to keep fighting to find happiness and contentment. Though some may not have a close relationship with their in-laws, I would not know what I would do without them. True, they have helped some with monetary gifts, but the biggest gifts they have given my wife Patti and I is LOVE. Pat Fancher, or (MOM! as I now call her) has suffered childhood pain. Teri Fancher also is dealing with childhood pain even up to today due to Polio. Still she never gives up. She is very independent and works full-time. George Fancher (or DAD!) and Patti (Fancher) Lougee also have growing up pains from losing their home to a house fire. Even though the Fancher family has suffered their own tragedy in their life, They still have been able to open their hearts to let me in and help me to overcome my tragedies.    My new family has always been their for me. When they found out what I have gone through growing up, they began to understand why I was acting out the way I was. It was them who helped me see how I was behaving, and how my behavior was embarrassing and how I needed to change. My biological family never cared enough about any of this. This is the reason I thank my in-laws and why I now consider them as my true family. Now, I no longer try to bring all the focus or attention onto myself , which was how I was raised to be because of my health. Instead, I now put THEIR interest first before my own. After seeing my therapist for 6 months, I have learned even more how important it is to have family in your life, how important to have your in-laws involved also, for your mates sake. The most important person you NEVER want to take for granted is your wife or husband. My wife Patti has been by my side every minute good and bad. I may not be here today if it was not for her giving up her time and love to help me through my PTSD, ANXIETY, and CONVERSION DISORDER. For those of you whose biological family are not close by or just do not seem to understand your illness, but yet your in-laws do, never push them away. They may be the only ones whom you can count on to help you through the toughest times when you need a helping hand. Never take them for granted. So, for my in-laws , I say "Thank You" to George Fancher, Pat Fancher, Teri Fancher, and most importantly, "Thank You" to My Wife, PATTI LOUGEE (Fancher).

Thursday, May 2, 2013

Your Life As A Puzzle - Volume 2

Your Life As A Puzzle - Volume 2 Do you remember our last story? We compared our life to a puzzle. We left off with three Options: Option One: Having your puzzle look like a pile of trash. Option Two: Having a bunch of pieces that look all bent and torn up. Or Option Three: A grand puzzle that looks like the Garden of Eden. So what do these Options mean? The first one,"A pile of trash,"is who your company is made of, those who do drugs or alcohol. The second option is "being bent and torn up" meaning are you taking care of your heath, taking all of your medication and seeing you doctor regularly. And the third one, looking like the "Garden of Eden," which means doing everything you are suppose to do and more to improve your health. Why are these options important to choose from? Well, they make up the platform of your new life, it gives you something sturdy to work on. Unless you have something firm to stand on you cannot have a stable platform to begin building your new life. Your life is like building a new house. After laying the foundation, you need a solid framework or studs. Our frame work is our body. If we abuse our body with drugs and alcohol, our house will never survive any wind storms, or problems that fly by. We will be too weak to stand up and take charge. But if we take care of our bodies, our framework will be strong as ever.   Now for the siding and roof, these two are your family and friends. For some of us we may need to repair our relationship with our family. The roof (or family) is supposed to shelter and protect you no matter what. Then your friends, your true friends, are with you no matter what you are dealing with - they are your sides of your house. It may sound easier said than done, but let me tell you if you do not let yourself do this step the rest of the recovery is going to be hard. Now that you built the platform of your house, you have decided to start a walking plan everyday. But you keep tripping on the same crack in the sidewalk and getting cut after cut. So you try stepping in the road in order avoid tripping, but now you have a new problem - traffic. Every time you step out, you come close to getting hit. So what is the smartest solution or quick fix? Well, have you thought about crossing the street where there are no cracks? So you try it and what do you know! A simple solution solves a big problem. This outlook of the crack is the step back that all have during treatment. You have so much information that it feels overwhelming. Instead of talking to your Therapist, you start having a drink. Or you choose your favorite drug of choice. Does this make you a failure? NO! Because you come back to your next appointment and tell your Therapist what you did. Now, you are both working at it together. By doing so, you are now filling in that crack that you keep tripping over You have overcome another obstacle. Now comes another thought for all of us PTSD suffers, "Your thoughts become your words" "Your words become your actions ""Watch who you listen to, they become your thoughts" "Your habits become your character" "Your actions become your habits" "Your character becomes your DESTINY"

Your Life As A Puzzle

Your Life As A Puzzle - To date the largest jigsaw puzzle is made of 30,000 pieces and was created . Every person has their own 30,000 piece puzzle. our own personal puzzles come down to 365 days a year for 70 to 80 years. Whenever we start a puzzle, we usually start with the edges first and work toward the middle. Each piece has different colors and different shapes. No two pieces are the same. Some pieces are full of color. Some are white and some are black. Some pieces make up people, family, friends and animals. The question is, what is your puzzle going to be of? Is it going to be boring or is it going to be exciting? Let’s examine what these pieces mean for you and what they represent.The corner pieces are your parents and step parents or those that have raised you. The four sides are, your brothers and sisters, nieces, nephews, aunts, and uncles. As you work on your image you begin to see all the animals you had and all the accomplishments you achieved.Everything you did in your entire life is in this one puzzle. -There is so much color and you are getting excited because you just cannot wait to see what it is going to look like. Most puzzles have a picture on the box to follow but your puzzle, has no picture. The picture that you need to follow is your own life. Every day you live creates a new piece. Unlike a full puzzle that you dump on the table, your puzzle pieces show up one day at a time.All of the joy you had because of the colors of your animals and memories are now fading fast. You are now thinking “Is there any hope of getting this joy back? Why are these black pieces coming up on my image? " So now you are just finishing your image. It has taken you at least 40 years to complete yourself. After dealing with a lot of mental health issues, you have learned that you now have PTSD. Everything that has happened to you has left pieces behind and now you are finding out that these pieces are the black ones that are full of PTSD and Anxiety. - By working with a therapist, you can learn just how to change the black pieces to color, one at a time. The most important thing to remember is that it is going to take time. As you start working on your friends, the black pieces are now starting to show up. These pieces however are where your friends connect to you. Come to find out, after you have been talking with your therapist you have been keeping too much in and pushing people away. Every time they try to help with some experience they had, you do not want to hear it because you just do not want to think about it. The hardest thing to learn with PTSD is boundaries, when to keep people out and when to let people in. As much as we do not want to live life with PTSD we cannot just skip a few days or weeks by over taking medication or alcohol. Life will always continue one day at a time and it is up to us to turn our 30,000 piece puzzle into three options. Option One: Having your puzzle look like a pile of trash. Option Two: Having a bunch of pieces that look all bent and torn up. Or Option Three: A grand puzzle that looks like the Garden of Eden.         Written By: Chad Lougee - Marion KY